Surviving Amber Springs: A Stand-Alone Contemporary Romance Read online

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  Table of Contents

  Note from the Author

  Prologue

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Chapter Twenty

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Chapter Thirty

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Part Two

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Chapter Thirty-Five

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Chapter Forty

  Chapter Forty-One

  Chapter Forty-Two

  Chapter Forty-Three

  Chapter Forty-Four

  Chapter Forty-Five

  Chapter Forty-Six

  Epilogue

  Acknowledgments

  The Lost Savior

  The Lost Savior – Sample

  Chapter 1

  Amazon Top 25 Bestseller

  When Forever Changes – Sample

  Chapter One

  About The Author

  Books by Siobhan Davis

  Copyright

  Note from the Author

  This book is only suitable for readers aged eighteen and older due to profanity, sexual descriptions, and sensitive subject matter. This book includes topics related to gun violence, rape, and suicide. If any of those subjects are triggers for you, then I recommend not reading this book.

  Thank you, and I hope you enjoy Surviving Amber Springs.

  Part One

  Prologue

  “Blaire! Get your butt down here already!” Ethan hollers up the stairs as I stifle another yawn, running the comb through my long almost-white-blonde hair one last time before leaving my bedroom. My twin and I are alike in so many ways, but his early morning sunny disposition is definitely not a trait we share. If it wasn’t for Ethan dragging my ass out of bed each morning, I know I’d be late for school every damn day.

  “Where’s the fire?” I inquire as I step into the homey kitchen a couple minutes later. My nostrils twitch at the delicious aromas wafting through the air, and my tummy rumbles appreciatively.

  “I cooked bacon and eggs, and I didn’t want it to go cold.” My only sibling places a warm plate in front of me before striding to the refrigerator, his long legs eating up the distance in no time.

  I pull up a stool at the island unit and sit down. “Wow. You’re really spoiling me today,” I remark, glancing at the stacked plateful of pancakes on the counter. Pancakes and bacon and eggs? Something’s up. “What’s the occasion?” Ethan is always up first, so he fixes breakfast, but he doesn’t usually go to this much trouble.

  “Do I need a reason to spoil my sister?” he asks, pouring me a glass of orange juice.

  He smiles as he hands it to me, but something about him is off. I scrutinize his face as I sip my juice, observing the extra layer of scruff on his chin and the noticeable bags under his eyes. “Hey.” I put my glass down and touch his arm. “Is everything okay? You look like you didn’t get much sleep.”

  “I’m fine. Stop worrying and eat.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head before claiming the stool across from me.

  Mom and Dad have already left for their respective places of work, so it’s just the two of us. As usual. We eat in silence, and there’s a tension in the air that rarely exists between us. Ethan and I have always been super close, even more so since everything went down the summer before tenth grade, which is why I know something is bothering him.

  When I’ve finished eating, I get up to take my empty plate to the sink. “Here, you can take this.” Ethan hands me his barely touched breakfast. “I guess I’m not hungry after all.”

  I put both our plates down on the counter beside the sink and wrap my arms around my brother from behind. “Please tell me what’s wrong. Let me help.”

  God knows I owe him that. That summer, when it felt like I was destructing from the inside out, Ethan was there for me. Helping me get through it, one day at a time.

  He swivels around on the stool, pulling me into his chest. I lean my head on his shoulder and sigh. “Nothing’s wrong, B. I’m just a bit stressed. First day nerves and all that.”

  Ethan’s endlessly protective of me and always the first one to jump to my defense whenever it’s needed. But it works both ways, and I want him to know I’m here for him. It hurts that he’s clearly dealing with something and deliberately shutting me out.

  I lift my head and eyeball him, staring into his bright blue eyes, so similar to my own. “You’re like the antithesis of nervous. What gives? Seriously. What’s going on?”

  His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat, and he claws a hand through his short blond hair. While my shade of blonde is more akin to Mom’s pure, white-gold hair, Ethan has the same hair color as Dad. A kind of dirty-blond color that all the girls love.

  My brother has no shortage of admirers, but he hasn’t had a girlfriend in a long time. He’s still crushing on Lucinda Jamison. Still harboring hope she’ll leave that douche she’s going out with for him. She doesn’t deserve Ethan, and she isn’t good enough for him, but try telling him that. I wonder if his current odd mood is in some way connected to her. It wouldn’t be the first time, that’s for sure.

  “You know I love you, right?” He cups my face. “You know I love you more than I love anyone else in this entire world.”

  I stretch my hands out on top of his. “I know, and I love you too, in the exact same way, but you can’t keep protecting me forever. And I can handle it. Whatever is weighing on your mind.” I squeeze his hands. “I’m good, E. I’m happy and I want the same for you.”

  He presses a kiss to my forehead. “This is something I need to deal with by myself, but I don’t want you to worry. Once you’re fine, I will be too.”

  Cryptic as ever, but I know there’s no point pursuing it. Ethan can be stubborn as fuck when he wants to be, and I don’t want to end up arguing on the first day of senior year. This is a milestone for both of us, and I’m determined this year is going to be epic.

  “Okay, you win. I’ll drop it.” I circle my arms around his neck. “I love you, big bro. So, so much.” Ethan was born six minutes before me, and he never lets me forget it, but I always know his teasing is in good humor.

  “Love you too, little sis.” He pulls me in close, squeezing me so hard it’s a wonder I can breathe. “I’d do anything for you. You are all that matters.” His voice sounds clogged with emotion, and when he finally releases me,
I’m startled to find tears pooling in his eyes.

  “E, I—”

  He puts his finger on my lips, silencing me. “Nope. Not another word. Scoot. You better get dressed before Cam arrives.”

  “I was thinking I’d ride with you today. I can message him.”

  Ethan shakes his head. “I want to get to school early, and I know he wants to drive you. He’ll never let me live it down if I take that from him.”

  I roll my eyes. “You’ve been best friends with my boyfriend since you were three, E. You, of all people, know he isn’t one for dramatics. If I want to ride with you, he’ll be cool.”

  Gently, he removes his arms from around me, sliding out of our embrace. “Ride with Cam, B, and I’ll see you at school.” A pained look washes over his face, but it’s gone so fast I’m not sure I didn’t imagine it.

  I’m still pondering his weird behavior as I traipse up the stairs to my room and into my en suite bathroom. I take a little extra care getting ready today, slicking some gloss across my full lips and applying blush and mascara. The girl staring back at me in the mirror looks happy and glowing with vitality, and I smile at myself, glad I’ve finally turned a corner and put the past behind me.

  I’m perched on the edge of my bed, toeing my shoes on when a subtle clicking sound pricks my ears. Wooden floorboards creak outside my room, and I pause what I’m doing, frowning. “E?” I call out. “Is that you?” Eerie silence greets me, and all the tiny hairs on the back of my neck lift as a blanket of unease creeps over me. My heart pounds behind my chest, and I can’t shake this ominous sense of dread that has materialized out of nowhere. I’m rooted to the spot, willing my body to calm down. The last thing I need is an anxiety attack before school.

  The roar of an engine distracts me a couple minutes later, and I race to the window in time to see Ethan’s SUV pulling out of the drive. Air whooshes out of my mouth, and I shake my head as I walk back to my bed. I’ll give myself a coronary overthinking things.

  Brushing aside the strange sensation, I finish getting ready and then check the time on my cell. Cam’s late which is most unlike him. My boyfriend is almost as anal about good timekeeping as my twin. I call Cam, but he doesn’t answer straightaway, so I ping him a message. He calls back about five minutes later. “Did you forget about me?” I tease.

  “Never, babe. That’s a virtual impossibility. You know you occupy my every waking minute.”

  I grin like a loon. “Then get your sexy ass over here.”

  A frustrated sigh leaks through the phone. “That’s what I was calling to tell you. Something’s up with my truck. It won’t start. The engine just keeps turning over. You’ll have to grab a ride with E.”

  “He’s already left, but it’s cool. I’ll just take Mom’s car today. She’s going out with the girls after work, so she got my dad to drop her at the doctor’s office on his way to the hospital.”

  “E’s gone to school already?”

  I pick up on the instant strain in his voice. “Yeah. I know, he’s a freak, but you know E. He hates being late for anything.”

  “If you two didn’t look so alike, sometimes I’d forget you were twins.”

  “We’re more alike than unalike,” I reply, jumping to defend my twinsome as I always do.

  “I know that too.” He pauses for a beat. “Was he, ah, okay this morning?”

  Clearly, Cam knows what’s going on with my brother. Even though it doesn’t surprise me that Ethan confided in his best friend, alarm bells start ringing in my ears. That worrisome feeling returns. “You know what’s up with him?”

  A pregnant pause trickles down the line. “Yeah.” He sighs, and it does little to reassure me. “I need to go, B, but I’ll talk to you later. Love you.”

  “Love you too,” I mumble absently, staring off into space as the line goes dead. That horrible, ominous feeling is back, and I’m scarcely holding my anxiety at bay. It’s been a while since I had a panic attack, and I’m sure as shit not going there today. Placing my head between my knees, I draw deep breaths, in and out, cautioning myself to calm down. Just because Ethan doesn’t want to tell me what’s bugging him, it doesn’t mean I need to overreact. It’s probably just girl trouble, like I initially suspected.

  After a couple minutes, my breathing has evened out and I’m back in control. Grabbing my bag, I head to the door, but it won’t open. I frown, scowling at the door, before trying again. I twist the handle firmly, shaking and rattling it, but it doesn’t budge.

  What the hell?

  Dropping my bag on the floor, I wrangle both hands around the handle and tug on it, repeatedly, aggressively, to no avail.

  I stare at the door, and my mouth turns dry. Those antsy feelings I worked so hard to repress overwhelm me, and I’m shaking all over.

  I’m locked in.

  And I don’t have a good feeling about this.

  Even though I know it’s futile, I grab the door handle again, shaking it violently, over and over, as frustration gets the better of me. But it’s no good. I’m definitely locked in, trapped in my bedroom with no way out. If there wasn’t a thirty-foot drop from my window to ground level, I might risk scaling the side of the house, but there’s no way I’m taking that chance.

  I drop to the floor, leaning my back against the door, sighing loudly.

  There’s only one person who could’ve done this.

  Ethan deliberately locked me in my bedroom.

  But the million-dollar question is why?

  Chapter One

  Four Months Later

  I tiptoe out of my new bedroom, quietly easing the door shut with military precision, although there’s probably no need to invoke stealth mode now that Mom’s sobbing has stopped. The usual arguing has replaced her tears. My parents’ shouts still echo in my ears as I creep out the front door and take off running in the direction of the town.

  As I run through the dilapidated suburb we now call home, I can empathize with Mom, a little. It’s hard moving across the country, moving away from the only place you’ve ever known as home, even more so because this new reality is so altered from our previous existence. But it’s not like we had any choice.

  Remaining in Amber Springs was not an option.

  Not after what Ethan did.

  And if my aunt and her husband hadn’t offered us a lifeline, we’d still be stuck there, living our own personal hell. Aunt Jill and Uncle Tom don’t live here in Kentsville. They live in a neighboring suburb—they have for the last twenty years—and Tom owns a thriving real estate business. His connections came in handy when we needed to flee Arizona. A friend of his had been trying to rent out his house for a while so he was happy to offer it to us at a knockdown price, and the decision was made.

  As I sprint past run-down houses, graffiti-strewn walls, abandoned warehouses and storefronts, and streets in need of a little TLC, I offer up silent thanks to Kentsville for offering us much-needed shelter, and I fervently hope Maryland remains the safe haven it promises to be.

  I slow down in front of the communal park, resting my hands on my knees as I attempt to bring my breathing back under control. Sweat clings to my brow, plastering my newly dyed hair to my face. I straighten up and glance at my surroundings. I’m on the outskirts of the main town with a large park on my right and a row of stores and businesses on my left. This part of town is a lot more affluent with modern buildings, and the streets are clean and tidy. Laughter trickles out from the bar situated on the corner, and it’s the only sign of life at this late hour.

  Tying my hoodie around my waist, I shiver in spite of my hot, sweat-slickened skin. The frigid air swirls around me, rapidly cooling me down as I step inside the park.

  It’s pristine and well-maintained with neat flowerbeds and freshly mown grass. Lighting is a little sporadic, but I’m not frightened. After what I’ve lived through, it takes a lot to freak m
e out now. I’m a hell of a lot stronger and tougher than I used to be even if my vulnerabilities still linger under the surface. Some might say I’ve lost the softer parts of myself, but it’s simpler than that—without Ethan, I’m only half the person I used to be.

  Some days, I’m so mad at him for leaving me. Other days, I miss him so much I wish he’d taken me with him. Everything always felt right when we were together, and now, I feel lost, aimless, and I struggle to find the will to go on. It’s only for my parents that I do. They don’t deserve to lose another child, and right now, I’m the glue holding this family together.

  Which is laughable because I’m the least together person I know.

  I follow the path to the central area of the park and drop down onto the nearest bench, cursing my stupidity. I slipped out of the house without any supplies, and I would happily trade a limb in exchange for a bottle of water right now.

  I only took up running in the aftermath of the shitstorm in Amber Springs. It was either that or resort to self-harming again. I needed some form of outlet, and running became my saving grace. If Ethan were here, he’d laugh himself silly at the notion of me running. I’ve never been the sporty type, unless you count cheerleading, but I’d given that up by the time I was fifteen. Ethan was the one who inherited the athletic genes. Not me. I was the academic one, and he was the sporty one. They were the roles we played, and now, it feels like I’m trying to be everything, but there’s no way I could ever take Ethan’s place. He was too Goddamned special. I don’t care what everyone is saying about him. They didn’t know who he was, and he isn’t defined by his last act on this Earth.

  A heavy weight presses down on my chest, and tears prick my eyes, just like every time I let my mind wander. Like every time I think of my twin. Or that morning. And all the different ways it could’ve gone down. I should have pushed him. Insisted he tell me what was on his mind. Maybe I could have prevented it.

  But I’ll never know now.

  Because Ethan is gone and we’re the ones left to pick up the pieces.

  “Watch out!” a deep, clearly masculine voice shouts, and I snap out of my depressive inner monologue, pivoting on the bench in time to see a football winging its way toward me. It’s not enough of a warning to avoid impact, and the ball smacks into me with brutal force, knocking me to the ground as if I’ve just been leveled by a truck.